Worst.

Do you know what's the worst thing ever when you are sad?
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To sleep with your teary eyes.    

Perempuan.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Perempuan, wanita, girl, woman.

Kau namakan saja makhluk Allah yang tiada halkum itu.

Pernah dengar istilah 

'Woman is complicated'

Yada yada .....

Atau seibaratnya?

Pasti pernah walau kau bukan pencinta wanita sekalipun.

Eh?

Iya, rumitnya seorang wanita itu 

amat sukar untuk difahami.

Usah kata makhluk Tuhan yang punyai halkum itu 

untuk faham yang namanya wanita,

Perempuan payah 

untuk fahamkan diri sendiri dan kewujudan mereka.

Apa kau kira mudah untuk fahami yang apabila senang,

Dia tersenyum lebar;

Menampakkan gigi putih meskipun giginya tidak rata.

Senyumnya boleh jadi secerah mentari terbit dan tenggelam.

Ketawa semahu hati dek tercuit humour.

Boleh jadi

dalam sekelip mata atau orang putih kata;

In the blink of an eye,

Makhluk unik itu 

berubah tingkah

sekali emosinya.

Mutiara jernih mengalir dari tubir mata

Jatuh ke pipi gebu miliknya.

Cengeng mula mengisi tempat.

Batinnya terjerit,

Namun suara tiada terkeluar.

Apa isi hatinya?

Rumit di hati

Gusar di fikir.

Cuba bertanya

Mahumu apa?

Sepi tanpa jawapan.

Gelengan dan keluhan.

Basah bantalnya

menampung air mata bersisa.

Senyum bisa jadi sendu.

Dekahan bertukar esakan.

Yakinnya dia bertukar 

jatuh ke bumi.
Terlebih sensitif.

Tak pernah dipamer

buat sang mata.

Rumitnya kami.

--- 14. 10. 2014 -- 03:33 am ---

Corat Coret.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Mungkin entri-entri aku lepas ini akan berkurang tentang aktiviti aku. Sekadar ingin menulis, meluah apa terbuku dan tersirat di hati. Aku akui menulis merupakan satu penawar bagi aku. Everytime I wrote something, let everything out through it, I will be much better. Entri-entri lepas ni pula mungkin akan jadi lebih pendek dan ringkas atau sekadar berkongsi gambar. Sudah tidak ada lagi cerita aku yang berjela-jela tu. Mungkin.

Puisi mungkin. We'll see.

Officially End.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Long time no see. So, our teaching practicum had already end. So do our diploma. Officially end. Alhamdulillah. It's been two years and half already. How times flies. So fast. I've done my studies. As a TESL student in UniSZA. I've also done my teaching practicum, which was so great and a meaningful experience.

I could still remember my last day in school. Had farewell party with 3IA. They made a surprise. They were hiding under the desks before I enter the class. Once I open the door, they did the firecrackers or whatever they called that thing. Haha. So sweet of them. They sang songs for me. And the most touching part was when they started to cry. And I was so touched when the naughtiest boy in class, even cried. They just don't want to let me go. They even followed me to the staff room. Crying and asked me not to leave the school. Got to promise with them that I will visit them again. This kids, hmm. :')

But still, I just couldn't believe that I left Terengganu, left UniSZA, SK Seberang Takir and also the people there. The memories created won't never be forgotten. Those memories that I bring together with me. Haih. :)

I miss Terengganu already. The beautiful beaches, our ports that we used to hang around. And of course, the people as well. Twinnies, Siblings, Teslians, UniSZAns and SKST's. I miss them, so damn much. :( It's only four days since I left Terengganu, but now I miss that place like crazy! Argh, pressureee! Huh. :((

I have like one year leave before I can go for degree. Which means next year. A year huh? I've planned things to do before the degree. Get a job and bla bla blaaa. A yearrrrrrrrrrrrr! Fuhh! Well, I can't wait to see them on Graduation Day this December. :D

Eid Mubarak 2014

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Muslim. Maafkan CikNin, maaf zahir dan batin bagi yang mengenali diri ini. Semoga Allah memberkati. :)

Lelah.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Semalam. Mungkin malam yang paling teruk aku nangis. Nangis dalam gelap, bawah selimut dan sorang-sorang. Sedih dan sakit bila ingat balik apa yang jadi malam tu. Tak suka bila benda tu diungkit. Aku bagitau Twinnies sebab aku terlampau sedih, dah tak tahu nak diluah pada siapa. Bukan kau tak penting, tapi aku rasa tak perlu kau tahu. Maaf kalau aku menyinggung.

Jatuh sampai ke tanah. Itu yang aku rasa. I'm feeling so insecure of everything. Everything. Aku tak mampu buat apa-apa. Hanya mampu tengok dan telan. Pahit.

Lemahnya aku.

I'm clueless. I'm hopeless.

Ramadhan.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Assalamualaikum. Lama gila CikNin tak update blog ni kan. Dulu kata nak update masa cuti semester, tapi tulah kelaut jeee. Haha. Maaf.

So, today is the first day of Ramadhan for 2014. Ramadhan yang mana CikNin kena mengajar dekat sekolah. Dengan nak kena observe dengan guru pembimbing sekolah, lecturer Unisza lagi. Satu dugaan dan ujian sebenarnya. Hari pertama Ramadhan, Alhamdulillah, everything went well. My students were okay although they seem tired. Push sikit je tadi, nasib baik naik semangat balik diorang tadi. Teacher sayang korang. Teacher Izza tegur CikNin, kata suara CikNin dengar sampai bilik guru. And I was like, "sekuat itukah suara aku?" Tu belum jerit lagi tu. Hari ni memang nada suara tu simpan je. Tak jerit, tak apa. Haha. Maybe I was born to be a teacher? Haha. Insya-Allah, Amiin. :)

Balik je sekolah, solat dan terus rehat. Asar bangun dan ke bazar Ramadhan dengan housemates tersayang, Echa, Ummi dengan Iqah. For the first time in forever, CikNin dengan Echa masuk bazar beli kuih berbuka, tak sampai 15 minit pun. Ganas tak? Haha. Sebab memang dah niat nak beli kuih je. Kalau melencong satu bazar tu, alamatnya memang penuh tangan. Hehe.

Balik rumah terus pergi Mama Tomyam. Berkumpul dan buka puasa kat sana. Alhamdulillah, today was a great start for Ramadhan. :)

Dear Muslims, I wanna wish all of you Ramadhan Kareem. May this Ramadhan brings more blessings and great things in your life. Jangan lupa solat terawih dan baca al-Quran.

May Allah bless. Lots of love. :)