Nota.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ramadhan 2013, ingat?

Awal pertama.
Biasa.
Firasat di hati tiada yang tahu.
Bagai ada tanda yang bakal terjadi.
Benar.
Biasa menjadi luar biasa.
Mulai mendekat.


Ramadhan 2014.

Semua menjadi ribut.
Semua menjadi kabut.
Semakin memberat dan susah.
Huru-hara.
Hanya ingin dimengerti.
Jauh sekali menjauh.

Ramadhan 2015.

Termeterai semua bertemu titik noktah.
Hakim memutus.
Segala terputus.
Memikul di bahu kian merendah.

Insomnia.

"Hey, sorry semalam. Saya tertidur. :("

"Nah, it's okay. Tau dah tertidur. :)"

"Still rasa bersalah jugak. Tidur pukul berapa semalam?"

"Takpe. Belum tidur dari semalam. Tak boleh tidur. Heh."

"Hah??! Belum tidur? Kenapa tak tidur ni??"

"Sebab tak boleh tidurlah. Pusing kanan, pusing kiri. Mata tak jugak lelap. Pukul 5 pagi bangun mandi, ready solat Subuh."

"Okay. Dah-dah, sekarang pergi tidur. Saya tunggu awak tidur."

"Okay, baik. Saya tidur."

"Dah. Peluk Cik D. Lelap mata. Jangan fikir apa-apa dah. Saya ada dekat sini."

"Baik. :)"

Ramadhan - Half Way To Go!

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Alhamdulillah, all praises to Him because now we are already in the second phase of Ramadhan. Half way to go! :D

So guys, how's Ramadhan been treating you guys so far? No, no. I think I should change the sentence a bit. How are you been treating Ramadhan so far? Much better, isn't it? I hope everyone is treating Ramadhan with bless and happiness. No doubt, Ramadhan is the toughest month in a year. It’s about patience, sympathy, humanity, love, forgiveness, kindness and remembrance of Allah. Ramadhan is so much more than fasting for one month.

Fasting teaches sincere love. When one fasts, he does it out of a deep love for Allah. One who loves Allah is a man who knows what love is. Let this Ramadhan be the month we decide to change ourselves for good. This Ramadhan, take a sincere step towards change, transformation, redemption. If you do, you will find Allah in front of you.

Even if you didn't do your best in the beginning of Ramadhan, do your best from now. Don't let it get away without an effort. Don't give up. Allah is training your patience. Be thankful for your trials. If you’re being tested, you’re being perfected.

Remember! One Ramadhan can change your whole life. Insya-Allah. The best time to begin a good deed and keep it consistent is Ramadhan.
So hurry up and start now!

Let’s aim replacing our negative addictions with new positive ones. Get addicted to prayers, to the Quran or giving charity. We need to stop ourselves from doing things that aren’t right because they aren’t right, not because its Ramadhan. 

Ramadhan is about breaking bad habits, not putting them on pause. 

Insya-Allah, kalau niat baik, mesti Allah tolong kan? Tapi, kita mestilah berusaha ke arah itu. Things won’t suddenly become easier once Ramadhan starts. Yes, the satans are chained but we still have to work on ourselves. With the power of Ramadhan, Insya-Allah.

Keep the smile, leave the tension, feel the joy, forget the worry, hold the peace, leave the pain, and enjoy the days of Ramadhan. Enjoy Ramadhan, do not take it as a burden. May Allah protect us from those people who take Ramadhan as a burden. Aamiin. :)

"Sorry."

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

This is not even the first time. It happened so many times before. Sepatutnya aku sudah boleh mengagak perkara ini akan terjadi. Lagi.

Why did you always pull me in just to push me away? Every single time.
Ada ketika, kau beria.
Ada ketika, kau menjauh.

Kau tarik aku, sampai aku masih mahu kekal hingga ke saat ini. Sebaliknya, kau makin tolak aku.
Avoiding. Silencing. Shutting me out.
You're so confusing. I just don't know what to do anymore.

You and your attempts and efforts.

Please know that all your efforts to save me from you, will fail. Even if you're trying to keep your distance from me, will not lessen my affection for you. Somehow, it would be privilege to have my heart broken by you. Yeah, it might sounds crazy. But, damn it.

I've been thinking since then. And the question still remains.
What else that is not enough for you?
Was everything never enough?
When are you going to get it?
When will you get it through your exceptionally thick skull that I love you? So freaking love you!

Haihh. I just wish the whole thing hadn't happened sometimes. And now, you've made your decision.

"Sorry."

If sorry could fix everything, why would there be laws and police?
If sorry could fix hearts, then nobody would be broken hearted.

But then, you chose that, so I have to accept it, by hook or by crook, shouldn't I?
Walau macam mana susah dan berat sekalipun.
Teruskan mencari apa yang kau nak cari. Semoga kau jumpa apa yang kau cari.

I believe there's something good gonna come later. With or without you.

Maybe this is good for both of us. I don't know. HE knows the best and the whole thing.

Wherever you are, my prayer's with you. Take care.

Love,
Me.

Cik D, The Ladybug.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


"That thing must be very precious to you. Given by someone?"

"Yeah, this is the only thing I have."

"You must be hugging that every night, am I right? A cure to your missing."

"....*weeping*...."  


-June 10, 2015; 11:37 pm-




Love,
CikNin

Sedia Kala.

Kembalikan ia seperti sedia kala.
Seperti waktu indah dulu.
Juga waktu duka, namun kita tetap bersama.
Setia berpegang pada janji yang satu.
Moga ia utuh.

Kali ini, aku takkan menyerah.
Tidak bakal berputus asa.
Cuba memahami, menyelami
Setiap yang terjadi.
Cuba
Memakai kasut situasimu,
Tinggal di kotak hidupmu.

Semoga berhasil.

Jawapan Aku.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.


Kau tanya aku, kenapa aku baik lagi dengan kau. Sedangkan bermacam dah kau buat dekat aku.
Aku jawab, tapi ini jawapan aku yang panjang untuk soalan kau yang satu itu. (Itupun kalau kau baca.)


Aku tak punya sebab nak benci kau.
Aku tak punya sebab nak berdendam dengan kau.


Sebab, kau pernah buat aku bahagia.
Sebab, kau pernah sayang aku.
Sebab, kau pernah jaga aku.
Sebab, kau tau baik buruk aku macam mana.
Sebab, segala kebaikan kau dan kenangan yang kita ada telah menutup dan melupakan aku seketika semua rasa benci dan sakit aku. Sampai aku dah tak nampak semua tu.

Ya, aku sakit dengan apa yang terjadi. Aku sedih. Aku marah. Tapi, semua tu bersifat sementara. Aku tak simpan dendam.


Aku akui, hari tu aku marah kau. Maaf. Aku sakit. Aku masih mencari diri aku yang hilang.
Hilang sebelah sayap dan cuba untuk terus terbang agar tak tersungkur terus ke bumi.

Tak, aku tak benci kau. Kalau dimulut aku kata benci, tapi tak di hati.
Jangan kata aku benci kau.
Aku sedih.
Tak mungkin aku benci orang yang pernah  jadi bahagian hidup aku.
Dah macam soulmate aku.
Used to be the other half of mine.
Aku tak benci kau.
Tak pernah.


Tipu kalau aku kata aku tak rindu. Memang menipu kalau kata aku tak sayang. Tapi, aku tak nak jadi beban dalam hidup kau.
Aku tak nak risikokan kau dan hidup kau.
Kau berhak atas hidup kau.
Aku cuba faham,
Dan aku faham.

Jangan risau pasal aku. Aku okay.
Teruskan kehidupan kau, macam aku teruskan kehidupan aku.

Tak, aku bukan nak raih simpati kau atau sesiapa. Aku tak harap dengan kau baca semua ni, kau kembali. Aku cuma jawab apa yang kau tanya aku.

No hurt feelings,
No hard feelings.